Friday, March 18

WHAT CHALLENGES ME TO GROW IN FAITH AND LISTEN 

MORE DEEPLY TO WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY?

I can't say I have enough insight to tell you the whole answer, but here's part of it. When I was 10 years old, my brother and I shared a bedroom in the basement of our house. My bed was up against a little half door that led into the furnace room. The furnace room was a dark and scary place, and so you'd think I would have been really afraid of it, and of how close I slept to it, but I wasn't. You see, the furnace would come on at night and fill the room with warmth, and fill my ears with a steady rumbling that helped me sleep. It was reassuring. And so I wasn't afraid, except for that one night.

That night when I awoke with a start, and stared at the little door inches away, because of a knocking sound coming from the other side. It was a steady, insistent thumping, like someone or something trying to get out. I was frozen in fear. I could barely breathe. But I had to get out of there. I could hear my parents in the living room above me, talking and laughing. I had to make it up to them. After what seemed like forever, I willed myself out of bed and backed out of the room, never taking my eyes off of that little door. I was leaving my sleeping brother behind, but too bad for him. Once I made it to the steps I shot up faster than I've ever run. I reached the kitchen, made a sharp left-hand turn and prepared to launch myself, screaming bloody murder, into the living room where mom and dad were still laughing and joking. As I turned I suddenly noticed our dog, Pebble, standing in the middle of the living room, next to a glass coffee table. He was watching my parents excitedly. As he did so, he wagged his tail vigorously. With each wag he thumped the underside of the glass coffee table loudly. It made a sound just like someone trying to get out of a furnace room. I was never so happy to be wrong in my life, but until I saw the source of the sound, I was as convicted in my fear as the truest believer.

Today, as a Christian struggling to connect with God, I fight other fears, just as fiercely held as the ones that made me hear a monster on the other side of that door. I only hope one day I'll again muster the courage to overcome my fears, scale the steps that separate me from the truth, and see at last the source of the sound. And hear at last what He has to say.


Jeff Edwards