Wednesday, February 28

FORGIVENESS

As we start off the new year of 2018, I wonder why we need, every December, to watch “The Christmas Carol,” and look at the chains we might be making for ourselves. I have to really work at forgiveness not just for others but myself. Why did I do such and such as friends remind me to reach for my higher self; not grovel in the pain. I wonder if God forgives me for loving thrift shopping more than churching. For many years as the pain of life bothered me, I would roam the isles of a neighborhood thrift shop. I forged my chain link by link of slights real or imagined. A canister filled with receipts that could prove a wrong done to me, kept for many years, finally thrown away. When all is said and done not to forgive only hurts me. The chain becomes something that weighs me down, stops my laughter and clouds my dreams. To be truly free, I must forgive and forget real or imagined wrongs. I must forgive myself and hear that still small voice inside my head that says, “God forgives you for everything, even that thought or things undone.” So I watch “The Christmas Carol” again and am inspired to try once more.

Let’s have a large bonfire 
That’s the only thing to do
Of course memories don’t burn 
Be nice to lose a few

I once had a canister of papers
All signed with “not” my name
It looked like mine but on close inspection 
Was not at all the same

The canister got heavier
As I trudged it through my days 
So I gifted it a dumpster
Before becoming crazed

“Off with her head,” said the matriarch 
She’s as crazy as a loon
So I packed my bags and ran away 
And not a day too soon

Starting my life over

In a new place and time 
But the memories remain 
Like fermenting wine

Be nice if one could burn them 
Or tip them down the drain 
Without them would I be me 
A smile without the pain

Jane Williams